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California faces a budget deficit of astronomical proportions this year and the legislature (D) and Gov. Schwarzenegger (R) have been struggling with ways to close the chasm. Schools and prisons consume most of the states dollars so cutting teachers and releasing prisoners early are two things that both parties agree must happen. But many Californians worry about the fate of the state if prisoners are allowed to hit the streets early and our schools are shorted teachers.

Assemblyman Don Bosco (I), however, has come up with a plan that will not only save our schools, but will also give freed prisoners something to do with their time: Bosco wants to send our most violent and corrupt citizens back to school. Bosco’s R.R.R. program (Raping, Rioting, and Arithmetic) will train prisoners to become teachers.

“Most of those being released have been rehabilitated and are eager to give back to society,” says Bosco. “We have to cut teachers, but we shouldn’t cut basically decent convicts out of a way back to a normal life.”

Many parent and teacher groups are naturally concerned about having convicts in control of the classroom, but one education expert thinks that the whole thing makes perfect sense. “Many kids have behavior issues and have little respect for traditional teachers,” says Dr. Betsy Rosman. “If you have an ex-con telling a kid to sit his butt down and shut up then he’s going to listen. Schools are like prisons anyway so this won’t be much of a transition.”

The governor and the legislature will be reviewing the plan in the weeks ahead and a vote will be taken before the May revise. In the meantime, it might not be a bad idea to teach your child how to handle a corn dog stick during a riot.

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