Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Archive for September, 2008

Menorah Mountain

Allen set to entertain at Menorah Mountain

Allen set to entertain at Menorah Mountain

SANTA CLARITA – Menorah Mountain, a Jewish-themed amusement park, opened this past weekend to large crowds of Southern California Jews.  The park is the brainchild of two L.A. area rabbis, Meyer Golden and Seymour Sherman, who were frustrated by the entertainment offerings for Hassidic families.  Some of the more tranquil rides like the Whirling Star of David (akin to Disney’s Mad Hatter spinning tea cups) as well as the Soviet Jewry-Go-Round are great fun for the kiddies.  The Guilt Trip and The Jewish Mother are old school wooden roller coasters that have riders screaming their lungs out and begging to get off.  The food offerings include Hebrew National hot dogs, gefilte fish on a shtick, and herring tacos – like Mexican fish tacos served with a dollop of horseradish.  The most popular game at the park is the Irv Rubin Shooting Gallery, where one can vent their frustrations at toy Nazi soldiers, white supremacists, Middle East terrorists and many others icons of intolerance who have given the Jews a hard time over the years.  Despite the big opening, Golden and Sherman are concerned about meeting their operating costs as it seems that no one wants to pay the asking price for the tickets and the haggling at the gate is causing many to turn away.

Read Full Post »

Have you hugged a hobo today?

Have you hugged a hobo today?

DOWNTOWN – They smell. They’re poor. They’re hot??! Hobos are now officially hip and many celebrities are coming out in support of them as the homeless are facing increased hobophobic attacks in Santa Monica and other Westside enclaves as reported below.

“I’ve been dating a hobo, I call him Mr. Bojangles, for a few months and he’s the bomb,” said teen High School Musical 3 heart-throb, Brandy Cole. “He made me a necklace using cigarette butts and gum and now all of my friends want one…and they want him.”

LA’s gay community is also going hobo. Several hobosexual clubs – not to be confused with obamasexual – have opened in WeHo and many turned out for a recent rally in support of new proposed laws against hobophobia.  “We understand hate and bigotry,” said one activist. “Hobos, even though they often smell like a landfill, are humans too. They need hugs, not hate….and perhaps a good scrub down.”

Read Full Post »

Hobophobia Stinks

Dress Code Required

Dress Code Required

SANTA MONICA – Once considered the “home of the homeless,” Santa Monica is now being accused of being “hobophobic.” The swelling ranks of homelessness and cash hungry merchants have put pressure on the typically tolerant city to clean up the streets. Santa Monica police have been spotted rounding up the homeless and landing them in regions outside of the city limits. On the local level, too, the increasingly conservative residents can now be heard making derogatory comments about the hygiene, habits and fashion choices of homeless residents. “It’s not that I personally find them to be a distasteful affront to humanity or anything,” confessed Sissy Cartdale, “but I do expect them to at least dress better. I mean, come on, plaids and stripes aren’t in fashion now…even the Chinese know better than that.”

Read Full Post »