Marvin Gottstein wanted to do something to help people who were ill so he gave 100 million dollars to Cedars to help them build a new hospital wing. Gottstein figured that his money would be used to help cure cancer or heart disease, but it wasn’t. The Marvin Gottstein Center for Premature Ejaculation opened this week and Gottstein is hardly thrilled about it; in fact, he is actually now suing to get his money back. “What is this? I give them money and they spend it on schtupping?” cried the Yiddish accented Gottstein at the gala opening. “I endured the death camps and worked my tukkus off for this?”The Gottstein Center is run by urologist Dr. Barry Finkel who had lobbied the hospital for years to get the center. “We finally have a place that reflects society’s concern for this dreaded medical condition,” said Finkel. “Now men can come to a place for help with their heads held high, so to speak, and get the help they so desperately need.” Recent studies have shown that premature ejaculation is indeed a problem for some men, but Gottstein isn’t buying it as a medical condition and clearly doesn’t want his name associated with the malady.
The Center is a four story high phallic shaped building with a rather conspicuous fountain on the roof that shoots water thirty seconds after the hour every hour – Finkel claims that the post-mature firing inspires patients. The interior of the building is blanketed with images of Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen Degeneres.
